I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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