I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
