My hand turned me down
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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