Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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