honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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