I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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