I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize