i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
