you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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