The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
My vagina is very pro this idea
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
