12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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