that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
oh god the rape fog is back!
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
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he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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