Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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