I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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