Jerry, you need to find god
Quick, to the slutcave!
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
ttyl tear gas
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
