Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
