before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
