i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
