i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
