I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
