My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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