Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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