Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
