can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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