everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
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