i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
