Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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