Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
