she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
