WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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