he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize