What a fucking waste of an outfit
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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