no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
