The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
