508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
