Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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