I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
