I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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