i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.