any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
23 Ladies Who Have Mastered The Art Of Squirting
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering