Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
