I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
bring money and cleavage
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.