Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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