I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
