If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
