Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
