Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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