After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
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