tell your sister to shave her snatch
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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