We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
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