eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
