Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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