I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
