He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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