You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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