She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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