her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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