I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
