frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
why is half of my head shaved?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
