SEEEEXXX PLEASE
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize