Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
