Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
