Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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