I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
